The Battle of the Flat Surfaces

by | Sep 16, 2020 | 0 comments

Once upon a time, a long time ago, someone created the first flat surfaced item. I’m sure many people believe this item was created to assist humans in their everyday lives. A flat surface table on which you can eat. A flat surface chair on which you can sit. Shelves to store items. Countertops on which you can prepare food.

But you are wrong! Flat surface items were not created to help humans in their everyday lives. No! Their hidden purpose is to drive people like me insane.

That’s right! Flat surfaces are the bane of my existence, the spur in my heel, the thorn in my side, and any other phrase you can think of to describe something that continuously gives you fits in life. Flat surfaces enable my procrastinator tendencies.

“How?” you say.

I’m so glad you asked!

Picture it:

If your mind just went to Sicily, you’re totally my people! If not, go watch some Golden Girls.

Anyhow, I digress.

Picture it: It’s a busy day. You’re running from place to place, one of which is the grocery store. You rush into your house, arms laden with bulging plastic bags and you drop those bags on your counter. Because who makes more than one trip if they don’t have to? You quickly put away the cold stuff, then look at the time. You have to run. That’s okay, those groceries will be fine right there on your counter until you get back.

Fast forward to the next day and those bags are still sitting there. Why? Because you got busy and again, those bags will be fine right there. As a matter of fact, you’re using the stuff out of them anyway, so why spend the time to properly put it all away.

Aside: I realize right now there are some of you out there that are having an anxiety attack right now thinking of this. You may want to look away. It’s about to get worse.

Mail? Who has time to open mail every day? Seriously, why are we even sending mail anymore? Flat surfaces to the rescue! Piled neatly in the corner of the desk until I get around to it. Which could be a week, a month, three months? Okay, so it’s typically when I realize I’ve missed something in the mail and have to go looking for it.

My desk. Don’t even get me started on my desk. I purchased an L Shape desk so that I would have room to work on paperwork, as well as have a two-screen set-up. I rarely have room for said paperwork. Of course, some of that is due to the multiple drink containers on my desk at any given time because I can’t stick to a drink of choice.

Chairs? Great for holding stuff. Shelves? Great for holding stuff. Bookshelves? Yeah, they don’t just hold books. TV stands. I often have to move the stuff out of the way to use the remote.

Okay my neat freak readers, you can look now.

I’m sure that this brings visions of a house in chaos. And you would be right. No worries. Every so often I do a clean sweep of my home so it’s not that bad. Okay, it is that bad most days, but if I know you’re coming over I’ll make an effort to clean it.

Now comes the kicker. Apparently, I have anxiety. I didn’t realize I had anxiety until I found out through actually talking to people that the constant circle of thoughts in my brain is not normal. And guess what my anxiety suddenly decided was a trigger? CLUTTER!

So now I’m a procrastinating neat freak. Which means I now hate those flat surfaces that allow me to drop my crap on them and walk away. Why? Because I will. And then it will bother me. So, I’ll clean it up, only to have it magically fill up again. Though I would like to say that is one perk of being an empty nester! My flat surfaces fill up a lot slower.

Anywho, that is all. Just a little post about me and my constant battle with the flat surface. Most days the flat surface wins. But on occasion, I come out the victor.

What’s your household battle?